Casualties
by katsmusings
Summary: Set during infinity war. Peter Parker finds himself in the middle of a war he was not prepared for
1. Chapter 1

They were losing.

This wasn't how things were supposed to go. Tony blasted another alien with a repulser blast while dodging a hit from another. There were too many of them and they were coming from every direction. They hadn't even managed to get anywhere near Thanos yet. He didn't want to admit it, but he was scared. Hit after hit and it was like every time an alien went down there was another one that showed up in its place. Tony glanced around trying to find his teammates, heart racing when he noticed that they were all struggling as well. There was one specific person that he needed to see was alright though. Peter.

He remembered the horror he had felt when he saw that Peter had joined them on the spaceship. This was the last place he wanted him to be. He was supposed to be down on earth, somewhere safe. Not in the middle of all this mess, he was a child for christ's sake. His eyes scanned frantically looking for the iron spider suit which was nowhere in sight. He flinched as he heard the bellowing laughter of Thanos in the background mixed in with the sounds of war, he turned around and his heart stopped in his chest.

There was Peter, being slammed into the ground. Over and over again. Thanos threw him a couple yards away as he kept laughing, surveying the scene with a smug look on his face. Peter flew though the air, limp as a ragdoll. Tony rushed over, knocking away any alien that got in his way, heart hammering in his chest as he feared the worst. After what seemed like an eternity, he finally reached Peter and dragged him behind a couple rocks so they would be shielded from the fight.

He could see Peter weakly try to get his mask off, his chest heaving as he tried to get some air in. Tony removed his facemask and took off Peter's mask, not saying anything while Peter sucked in deep breaths of air now that his mask was no longer in the way. Tony waited for the kid to calm down slightly, but he didn't miss the way that Peter's breathing was still labored, a slight wheezing present with every breath he took.

"H-hey Mr. Stark, I'm fine you don't have to worry about me"

Tony furrowed his eyebrows as he noticed that the words were coming out slightly slurred.

"How 'bout I be the judge of that? Can you sit up?"

Peter tried to shift his weight slightly on his elbows, but sharp pain ran through his entire body and his vision went blurry, He let himself fall back to the ground, groaning, wishing the pain would just leave.

"-eter? Peter!" Tony kept calling out his name as he saw Peter lie there, eyes scrunched in pain, entire body rigid. He was getting worried, the kid usually bounced back quicker than this. Or at least pretended that he was fine, but he wasn't even acknowledging that Tony was calling his name.

Peter's felt his heart start racing. _Why isn't the pain stopping?_ He thought. He tried to raise a hand to his face but his arms felt heavy, like weights holding his limbs to the ground. _Should I be feeling this tired?_ Being Spiderman he had definitely gotten his fair share of injuries, but never this bad. His breath caught as a sudden thought ran through his mind; _how good is my healing factor?_ He had always been good at recovering from his injuries as Spiderman, but he had never stopped to think about the fact that an injury might be too much for his healing factors to recover from.

When he had seen the spaceship from his school bus, it hadn't even been an option to not rush towards it. It's what he did, he protected people. He knew that he had always been reckless and maybe he had just been over confident but the thought of actually dying always seemed improbable. But now, in this moment, the realization that he might not make it out of this hit him harder than ever.

He didn't want to die. There were so many things that he wanted to do, he hadn't even graduated from high school yet. There were people that he hadn't gotten a chance to say goodbye to.

Ned. His guy in the chair. He had told him not too worry and that he would text him tomorrow as he rushed from the school bus towards the spacecraft. He remembers Ned's look, mouth half open in protest as Peter ran off. He knew that as much as Ned loved the idea of him being Spiderman, he hated that Peter put himself in dangerous situations. He could picture him now, pacing in his room waiting for the text. The text that Peter might not be able to send him afterall.

Aunt May. She was probably frantic by now, piecing together that Peter was involved with the spacecraft involved in downtown New York. The spacecraft that had propelled him into space, into a war that he was not prepared for.

He was having trouble concentrating. Thoughts were becoming jumbled in his brain and as he looked around, nothing seemed to be focusing. Tony's face appeared in his field of vision and he tried to give a smile, but he couldn't manage. He didn't want to be here anymore, he wanted to be back on earth, in his apartment in Queens. He wanted to be in May's arms, telling him that everything was going to be ok. He choked back a sob, pain radiating with the motion. He was scared, more scared that he had ever been before and he didn't know what to do.

"I need you to tell Aunt May—" Peter started, speaking almost frantically.

"No. None of that. Peter, you are going to be okay, you can tell Aunt May yourself when we get you back to Earth."

Tony was trying to remain positive, but doubt was weighing heavy on him. Peter did not look like he was getting any better. He could see his unfocused gaze and how his breath was getting slower and shallower. He didn't want the kid to see how scared he was but truth was that he was terrified. This was the last thing he wanted to happen. He had accepted that there might be some casualties but not Peter. He wasn't even supposed to be here.

Peter chocked on his next words, bright red blood staining his lips.

"I need you to tell her that I love her ok? You need to tell her that it was quick and that I didn't feel anything. Please take care of her, I don't want her to be alone, not this soon after Uncle Ben"

Peter was rambling, trying to get as many words out as he could, but the words were strained as he coughed out more blood.

Tony ran his hand through Peter's hair, he had seen May do that to calm him down and he knew that it couldn't replace her but he was willing to do anything to help.

"Shh, kid I'll take care of her don't worry about that. I'll tell her how amazing you were out there. She would be so proud. _I'm_ so proud of you"

Peter looked sluggishly in Tony's direction. He could no longer see much of anything anymore. He knew that there wasn't much time left. Peter smiled weakly up at Tony.

"Thank you, Mr. Stark"

Tony sat there, running his hand through Peter's curls until his last breath. Peter was gone. Tony felt his chest tighten and his throat constrict. He forced himself to take a deep breath.

 _Now is not the time_. He repeated it over and over in his head like a mantra.

 _You can break down later._

He didn't want to leave Peter's body there, lying on the ground all alone but the fight was still happening and he was going to fight Thanos and his army with everything he had left. Wiping the tears from his face, he put his mask back on.

If there was one thing he had learned about war, was that death did not care what side you were on.


	2. Chapter 2

Two days.

48 hours.

That's long how it had been since May had heard any news from Peter. She knew that he was up in space, she had seen the footage of the space craft in downtown New York. News reporters claiming that Spiderman had been spotted on the outside of it as it rose toward the sky. The coffee cup she had been holding had fell to the ground, shattering in pieces, which was how her heart had felt when she had learned the news that he was up there.

 _Please God let him be okay, I can't lose someone else._

Here she was now, two days later, sitting on her couch watching the news, waiting for any piece of information that could be useful.

 _Is he safe? Is he –_

 _No,_ she shook her hear, hair falling around her face, coming out of her messy bun. _Don't think like that, you can't_

She jerked out of her thoughts as the news station showed more footage of the spaceship. Fingers fumbling with the volume button as she tried to turn it up.

She listened, frozen in place as the news reporter spoke, heart beating fast in her chest.

"The avengers are back on earth, arriving less than an hour ago. They were in space fighting against Thanos, –"

They were back

She got up and rushed to her phone, heart dropping as she saw no missed calls or text messages. She tried rationalizing, maybe he's busy, maybe he doesn't have access to a phone, anything that could explain why he hadn't tried to reach her yet. But she knew that he would not waste a minute trying to reach her. He knew how she got, especially since Uncle Ben.

She took a deep breath in and moved the hair out of her face. There must be something she could do, she was done with waiting. She had already done enough of that.

Stark

If anyone knew where her boy was it was him. She grabbed her phone and scrolled down trying to find the number, about to press the call button when there was a knock on her door. Flashbacks of the night when Ben died surfaced to mind, there had been knocking that night too.

She swallowed down her fear and swung the door open. Tony Stark himself stood there, looking worse for wear, his arm in a cast and the colour under his eyes a dark purple colour. Her eyes glanced behind him down the corridor, hoping that Peter was hiding behind him.

"May", Tony started, getting her attention as her eyes snapped back to face. He looked so tired, his eyes lacking their usual spark. He looked away quickly; the guilt unbearable as he saw the worry on her face. He cleared his throat and continued, "you should take a seat"

"Oh" She breathed out, going still. May knew what those words meant. The police had told her the same thing before telling her about Ben.

Tony guided her to seat, the best he could with one functioning arm. She let him, hardly controlling her motions. She couldn't focus on anything, thoughts running through her mind.

 _Please just be hurt, please don't be dead. Please._

Tony watched her break down as he told her the news. Her denial, followed by anger and finally acceptance. Her boy was not coming back. She yelled at him to get out through her sobs. He would never forget her words,

 _You were supposed to protect him. You promised me you'd take care of him._

 **2 months later**

May stared at the door. His door. She hadn't gone in since she had learned that he had died. She had let Ned go in a couple weeks ago, to pick up some things that he had forgotten from pervious times he had been over. He had come over with a bag full of Tupperware, courtesy of his mother. He had asked her if she needed anything, if he could help with anything. She could see that he was trying to stay strong in front of her. She let him go into Peter's room, closing the door so she could give him some privacy, trying not to break down herself as she heard Ned's cries though the walls.

Her hand hesitated on the doorknob, wondering if she was ready to do this yet. She remembered doing the same thing after Ben had died, leaving his clothes folded on the laundry machine, leaving his shoes at the front entrance months after he was gone. Peter and her had gotten into a fight about it. Peter yelling through his tears that it wasn't healthy; to pretend like he was still there.

She had tried to not let herself fall into that state again, cleaning up Peter's items that were scattered around the apartment, but she hadn't been able to bring herself to go into his room.

She faltered as she entered the room; everything looked exactly the same, the sheets on the bed messily undone, the star wars and avengers posters hanging on the walls. She sat down on the bed and picked up a sweater that was lying on the end of the bed. Squeezing it tight in her hands she couldn't stop the tears from falling.

 _This isn't fair_

Everywhere she went was a reminder of him. Memorials for the fallen members of the avengers scattered the city. People all around her were grieving for their fallen heroes. She remembers almost breaking down first time she had seen one of them, because she didn't want Spiderman back, she just wanted her boy back.


End file.
